Pre-flight Plight

January 4, 2008

Over the past ten months since booking my flight and receiving my visa, I have reviewed the procedures for entry into New Zealand well over ten times. One would think my preparation would be over-the-top, but after I handed my passport and ticket information to the grizzly NZ Airlines Receptionist, she greeted me asking, "do you have your green card?" Upon hearing that question, a nasty cold sweat broke from me which I knew would begin fermenting in the following four or five hours, that is, if I were able to even get on the plane. I know what a green card is but I didn't know Canadians needed one to go to New Zealand. All I could think to do was hand her the thick stack of documentation that I had collected during my application process and explain my situation. This documentation didn't satisfy her, nor did my story. "Oh, this is a Canadian passport, you don't need a green card," she said moments later very unapologetically. My nerves settled for a moment until just a few of her keystrokes later, she found my next flaw. "Do you have a *$%# &*% (those symbols represent her mumbling two words) ticket?"

I asked for her to repeat, "sorry?"

Again she asked, "Do you have a *$%# &*% ticket?"

"Not that I know of." My Cold sweat began again. "No, but I do have more papers here" I pleaded handing her the rest of the documentation. "What is it for?" I asked.

Smart was her reply, "Well, we need to know you're coming back from NZ."

Once again at a loss, I handed her the work visa.

She drawled, "This expires in March."

"Well, no," I replied, "I have to activate it before March, then It's good for a year."

While walking away and without prompt, she said, "I'm going to have to speak with my supervisor."

After one full minute; enough time for me to think about what I'm going to do when I missed the flight, she and her super come back to the counter. If physical volume increases supervisory skills, this supervisor was very capable. He immediately recognized that there was an extra zero in the passport number which cleared whatever the flag was that was on my account which required the *$%# &*% ticket be presented before my entry into NZ. I received no apology and no eye contact for the duration of the transaction, but I was alright with their rudeness because I was then free to enter NZ with my new body odor.